Okay so, this had to be done eventually ..
I had to turn on my old phone, the one I had over xmas and face the text messages on it. About 200 of them, all from him.
Each one was like a bullet, seriously. Just little I love you, I miss you, I’m thinking of you ones .. What it was like before all those big arguments.
Long texts too, rattling on about how he feels about me, long forgotten feelings now. Even the dirty ones, haha!
What’s strange is, the messages are mostly happy. No bickering, arguing, snide comments, because we did get along for a good few weeks without arguing, believe it or not!
The texts were such a reminder, I’d forgotten how we used to like, be towards each other? It makes me sad, because we don’t have that anymore, we lost it the weekend of all the arguing.
I wish I could forward him them all, haha, make him remember how it used to feel. Its surprising, for someone who has now decided they were never in love with me, he spent a lot of time telling me he was, like the text above. And many others, telling me he was in love with me, much more than I realised, lots of little random ‘I love you’ texts.
Silly me for believing him.
Ugh, stupid texts.